The topic here is your “Inner Boy” – how he operates, what he does for you, and how you relate to him.
If your relationship with your Inner Boy feels stressful…
…if he’s constantly trying to “take over” and run you by throwing you into “action” all the time…
…if the conflict between your inner masculine and feminine energies feels like it’s pushing you to want to “control” everything around you and literally “give up” your Inner Girl to the imperatives and agendas of your Inner Boy, Debra’s wisdom is for you.
Notice how free-flowing Debra’s writing is, as she uses the very personal style she’s originated as a star coach on Siren Island:
From Debra Darlen:
In my ‘story,’ I became very …depressed and down and out….over time..I blamed this on my circumstances…related to my husband illness and demise..(which continues on by the way) and it seemed as if nothing could..make me ‘feel better’…I was so numb..that it seemed that almost ‘nothing mattered’ to me anymore..even those things I loved doing…lost their ..sparkle…my interest seemed to wane significantly…
It was my ‘inner boy’ who …’saved me’…and did not allow me to go any further…’down’…and some days this meant…showing love for myself by getting out of bed, getting dressed, and eating something nutritious and this seemed…almost …’undoable’ some days…but my inner boy ‘got me up’….
It was during this time, that my imagination and creativity, began to develop a little ‘different’ path…my inner boy was a bit of a comedian..and he would make the most ‘inappropriate jokes’ and I would ‘laugh’ great big belly laughs…..
Also during this time, a colleague and long time friend, who happens to be a man began calling me every morning and saying are you ‘out of bed yet’?
And, he would tell me ‘inappropriate jokes’ which made me laugh…and he would tell me several until I was laughing..if I did not laugh …he would not stop talking to me until I was at least smiling and ‘out of bed’….This man lives several states away and I’m not sure why he began calling me everyday…but he did.
As I began to cultivate my ‘inner boy’ jokes…and I can’t really …won’t repeat them..to you..but believe me..suffice it to say…he is pretty funny …well..to me..anyway…even though they might have sounded…weird or awful to someone else..especially the ones related to my husbands illness..or his bizarre behaviors I experience….continually..
and…as I cultivated this little …fun talk with him….my overall sense of …happiness…began to improve…and as I allowed him..to ‘be funny’ and ‘to love me’ more and more..I began to ‘baby-step’ my way…sort of…out of those dreadful feelings and sense I had …itsy bitsy bits..at a time..
My inner boy..began assuring me…more and more..’we can do this’…’we can get through this’….and so did my male friend. As I began to ‘sort of’ believe him…my inner boy…I began imagining my inner boy was my airplane pilot (I once had one) and I even named him..’Shawn’…which was the name of my very favorite personal pilot.
Only, my inner boy pilot, is more handsome than Shawn was! This imagery, made me laugh alot and also made me feel..happier…even if it was just..my imagination…it felt …’good’.
Shawn is still with me…and he adores me by the way…and we go all over the place…nowadays!
Yet, I always have to sort of …lovingly let him know when he meddles into my ‘love life’….and my love relationships…(which he does try to do)
So……the moral of the story…is …we CAN and should use our inner boy or boys and direct their energy in our ‘favor’ to our ‘greatest good’ and LOVE them..love on them…all the time…and give them some of our ‘creative love’….and direction…and have FUN with them..
Love to you all!
You can read Debra’s latest Siren Island posts, comments and live coaching, along with mine and other amazing Siren Island coaches – and get actual, live, nearly 24/7 coaching from all of us for yourself, for only $29/month (and you can try us all out for 7 full days for $1) here: