No matter how much I may look like it in this photo (and to me – and this photo is, for me, the epitome of The Modern Siren) – I wasn’t anywhere near Siren status.
Not then, in this photo, not at anytime in my life before this photo, and for many years after it.
It wasn’t until I was nearing the end of my biological clock and met my husband that Siren-ness started to take over inside me.
How I figured it out, and keep figuring it out through my own Tools, is how you can get to Sirenity really quickly.
Let’s start with what’s at bottom of good feeling “dating” and a good feeling relationship:
This is from Mariah Grey, my brilliant coach who’s going to teach the Siren School “Plus Love” 4-week live coaching class beginning September 25th:
“Imagine your perfect date. With a new man, or a man you’re with right now. Every little detail counts.
Who are you with? What are you wearing? Where do you go? What do you do?
Close your eyes and really visualize each moment, let yourself feel the joy and love you experience.
Now, check in with yourself: At anytime did you feel “not good enough?”
My guess is – No!
Because we safely set up this “imagined date” at the beginning as a “fantasy,” it’s most likely to allow you to feel comfortable, beautiful, and totally relaxed.
And yet, in the moment when you realized you’re in this fantasy, and real life begins to “intrude” – you may have felt all kinds of other feelings…”
From Rori: So – what’s the difference between a feel-good fantasy and “reality”?
That’s the big question. That’s what the Plus Love live coaching program is all about: Taking what we think of as “reality” and recalibrating it.
Resetting our “opinions” about what’s “supposed” to be happening, what we’re “supposed” to be feeling and experiencing – and, most important, resetting what we’re supposed to be “thinking” about all of it!
You can feel good like you did in the fantasy in real-life, too.
You can bring that relaxed, beautiful, vibrant you to every date you go on, every moment you spend with any man, every errand you run, every meeting you go to, every charged conversation around the water cooler at work.
You can learn how to open up to love and to treasure yourself as the beautiful woman you really are so that every experience you have can start to feel like a “dream.” (A good-feeling dream – not a nightmare!)
You can start to feel yourself “here” in each moment, without all of the pressure to “get it right” about ANYTHING.
We all have learned to “label” ourselves. There are, if anything, MORE labels out there for EVERYTHING! We’ve created names for more and more variations of every possible state of being, looks, shapes, sizes, emotions, behaviors…and have “grouped” all of us into these tight “niches.”
It can help to feel a fellowship of women who’ve “labelled” themselves as we have on the spectrum of life – and it can also tie us in knots and make us feel outside of “real life.”
It can make us feel supported, it can make us feel great about what we “think” is “different” about ourselves – or we can begin to let our self-love plummet and start “categorizing” ourselves in such a strict way that we begin to feel CUT off from what we WANT.
In other words – we’re busy categorizing and labeling the qualities we’ve been taught since we were little to think of as important to society, to men, to jobs – and then completely neglect the truly IMPORTANT parts of OURSELVES: our strong desires, our unique gifts and talents.
We don’t even notice these things about ourselves. Instead, we overlook and ignore them. These are really our actually gorgeous and yummy qualities, and we’ve been taught to dismiss them.
It’s like we’ve all been trained to put ourselves in little boxes – and STAY there!
Well, what happens when your insides, your desires, your WANTS don’t match the label of the box we’ve been put in (or put ourselves in because it’s all we’ve been taught our whole lives)?
How many times have you been told “you’re not good at this, you’re okay at that, you look this way and not that way…?
The thing is – it’s all a lie. There ARE no boxes. There ARE no labels. Those things are just convenient for people to create out of their OWN fears!
How many times a moment are you aware that “judgment” and “opinions” about EVERYTHING in life out there and all around you just overflood your senses and your mind?
And how much of every day do you have to spend working through it all? Just barely sticking your head above the water of all those irrelevent and mindless “categories” made just for convenience?
It’s like we’ve all been organized to make it easier for society to function. This is what “civilization” is!
We’ve all been taught how to think and feel about things in order to stay in this “organized” and “compartmentalized” box – and if you’re now just discovering that you want OUT of that box in a graceful, easy, non-dramatic or scary way…you can do it!
Try the imagine Tool at the top again, and this time: really let it sit for awhile.
See if you can extend the “fantasy” so it slops over into real life.
So the next time you’re at the market, or a party, or on a “date” – you feel like you’re still IN that fantasy.
AND, that you feel it (and this is important!) like the fantasy and the “reality” are EXACTLY THE SAME!
Yes, that fantasy and reality are the SAME!!!
The Siren School program “Plus Love” that Mariah Grey is going to teach and one-to-one coach on Monday and Wednesday LIVE classes beginning September 25th, and with me, too, 24/7 on the closed Facebook Plus Love group is designed to do this for you.
To take the good feeling moments we can “make up” and transfer them to real life.
Mariah can do this in a way no one else I know can, because she’s not only an amazingly skilled and compassionate Rori Raye coach, she KNOWS what it feels like to find yourself in that sticky box and want OUT!
She’ll get you there in only 4 weeks, and I’ll be there on the Facebook group along with Mariah and coach Beth Ellen to help you with everything personal that comes up while you’re in the class.
It doesn’t matter what you “think” your body looks like to you. It only matters that we help you find a way to Fall In Love With Your Body so it can take you out of the “Box” and to where you WANT to be in love and life.
Plus Love is for you if you ever feel angry or insecure with a man in particular, or in the dating world in general; if you feel like you’re settling for less than you deserve because somehow you don’t feel comfortable claiming what you’re worth (or just don’t “feel” your worth…); if you’ve been fed the lie that “some men are out of your league”; if you’re not getting approached by men, and it’s starting to wear on your self-esteem; if you’re feeling like “stopping,” “taking a break” from dating – or just giving up entirely.
Or if you’re in a relationship and the “spark” is going away; if the men you’re attracting (and feeling attracted TO) turn out to be the same kind of guy over and over again with the same low-level and icky feeling qualities – you’ll want to check out Plus Love.
Plus Love is not just for plus-size women, it’s for you if the way you think and feel about your body – whatever it’s like – is getting in the way of your love life. Join Mariah and I in Plus Love and start loving your body as it is.
Go here to download your free “How To Fall In Love With Your Body No Matter What” worksheet, and learn more about the Plus Love LIVE coaching program!. (If you already have the worksheet, I’ve also put the video of an interview I did with Mariah so you can see her and feel her – her warmth, smarts and the new way to see yourself and the world she can give you.
Siren School and I are here for you…if you’d like, please write me back by hitting “reply” to this letter if you have any questions about Plus Love and how Siren School works, or if you’d like me to know what you personally need in a class I can create for you, what you’d most like to learn about in love, and perhaps even if what you’d really like, down deep, is to become a Rori Raye coach yourself!