How To Rise And Be Buoyant

Buoyancy is a gift.

And it’s a gift you can give to yourself.

From as far back as I can remember, which is not far (I seem to have erased most of my childhood from my memory), I have felt sensitive.

People might say I have been sensitive. Perhaps “a ‘Sensitive.'”

And now, as an adult, I can see that everything is felt in me. Dogs, cats, plants, beings, trees. Every possible pain that can be experienced, I feel I can sense – whether I can actually or not.

I pick up other peoples feelings and call them my own whether or not they are, and yet, after every bout with a feeling that makes me want to sink into it, I pop up again!

I am buoyant, like an inflatable ball.

And what I notice more and more, the more aware I’ve become, is that I do, instinctively, what I have always done – which is: the moment I feel something, I button up.

I close up. I literally almost push that thought, that feeling, that sensation away with my hand.

Only – it doesn’t work.

What I experience when I “close up” is like a double whammy.

The pushing away makes the sensation stronger!

And then, the pain of the pushing and the buttoning adds to it all…

My guess is that, over time, I bounce back up. I rise to the surface. I am buoyant. I emerge from the quicksand…

And – the old saying time heals all?

Yes, perhaps, and perhaps not “all,” and yet – who wants to wait around for time to heal us?

Not me.

I’ve discovered many ways out of the murk…

Simple things like yawning and blinking, simple things like lowering my shoulders, lowering my consciousness down my body, and sinking into whatever it is…

Then, once I’m sunk down there, where I can feel the “bottom” – my natural gift bounces me back up…

And yes, the fear of staying in that dark place is part of the deal… It’s part of what I buoy myself up from…

So if this is you (and I’ll bet it is, because we are all gifted in this way) – and sometimes you feel lighter than air, and sometimes you feel like something you’ve seen or heard or experienced is pulling you down into the mud of your consciousness, try this:

*As soon as you notice that you are being pulled down into what people might call depression – or sadness, or fear, stop labeling those feelings all together.

Because when we label those feelings, we can always come up with the same solution we’ve always come up with… Some kind of “mental wording.”

We put out words and protections, put on armor, button ourselves up against the sensation and feeling. We put up a barrier to the feeling that feels like it’s growing. That’s gobbling us up like quicksand.

Well, we all know we’re supposed to swim through quicksand (reading my fantasy books where people fall into quicksand makes me feel it like it’s happening to me…I want to throw the book against the wall…). We’re supposed to float on it like it’s water.

So – instead of trying real hard to get out of the muck, instead of closing down and trying to quarantine it (and really quarantining your self) – just let it be.

Yawn. Blink your eyes.

Walk outside and put a leaf in your hand. Just stare at the leaf…don’t try to appreciate it, don’t try to feel grateful, don’t try to make affirmations, don’t try to fix it.

Don’t even try to swim.

You can’t try to pop up to the surface. If you’re struggling against the muck and the water and the feelings it just becomes a battle that no one wins. Not one part of yourself wins that.

I also find that walking helps. Just keeping walking outside, and pretty soon all of the trees and the bushes will start to speak to you. Yes they will. They will begin to help you.

As a sensitive, you pick up from everything.

You pick up fear from others, and fear from the atmosphere, fear from the world, fear from yourself.

Why not enable yourself to feel joy, and heroism, and love and light from plants, trees, other people, dogs, birds, bunnies, squirrels…all around you!

A great many people and all living (and seemingly non-living) things have a lot of emotional gifts to offer you!

Just as you pick up horrible feelings from some people, you can pick up heroic and awesome feelings from others!

And in my experience – gratitude, joy, a little bit of blessing and an urge to bless comes up.

That, then, signals your rise to the top. Signals that you’re beginning to float up rather than fight and try and do. You have nowhere to expect to be.

Sometimes you’re sinking, yes.

And when you feel it, fighting the sink will not help you.

Swimming and rising and floating are all about trusting the aerodynamics of the physics of your heart.

Begin to trust your gifts of sensitivity so that they can begin to pick up the lovely things in this world.

Let them pick up the lovely things of this universe, this life, and all of the connections available to you.

You can do this. Pick up, tune in, let yourself sink, let yourself float, let yourself fly, let yourself feel – instead of trying to cut everything off in order to avoid the pain.

Love, Rori

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Rori Raye