THE ANSWER: From Debra Darlen, one of the brilliant coaches on Siren Island...
(Debra is talking directly to one of the Siren Island members, answering not only her general question about how to "manage" her boyfriend, but specifically addressing her mindset, how she's going about getting what she wants, and helping her find her way "in" to the Modern Siren Tools so she can practice them non-stop in the easiest way:
Debra Darlen Begins: ...So...the "result" the Tools are "meant" to bring about is a sense of peace and calm when we're feeling overwhelmed with emotions...
Note From Rori: And to feel that peace and calm when he's right in front of us, no matter what he says or does, and no matter HOW high-stakes the conversation seems.
And even more important: To feel peaceful and calm feeling anxious and worried!
The idea is not to "change" what you're feeling!
The idea is to Fall In Love with what you're feeling, which then results in an expansion of your radiant energy field, an unlocking of your physical and emotional tension, and a "shift" in your VIBE that any man can feel, deeply, in any moment.
From Debra: It is NOT to try to get him to DO anything!
From Rori: Yes!
Now It's All Debra:
Remember, Rori says that we must say NO to any: Criticism, complaining, controlling.
That is: NOT trying to control the outcome and learning to take 'NO' for an answer when we ask for something.
This is very important.
As soon as we begin thinking that we're using the Tools as some type of strategy or technique to get him to ..."Call, Text, or DO anything that we want him to do" - we get off track.
When we get ourselves wrapped up believing that "only if we 'do it right' or 'say it right' or 'feel it right'" that HE will suddenly DO what we want him to or expect him to - we are off track.
We are again in our masculine and slipping into a place that does not help us to be deeply in touch with our real and true feminine nature.
The Tools work to keep us in our feminine - in touch with our feminine - which does the real magic.
So, the 'result' we are looking for - is in being able to sweetly and calmly ride the 'SEA' of emotions that can come up when he doesn't DO what we want him to when we want him to do it, and we feel bad about it.
For when we are in our feminine - completely and totally, all the time - you'll see that he WILL very quickly become more attracted to you- and he will begin to behave differently and more attentively.
Actually, you will begin to see a shift from ALL men - and women too....
As we soften on the outside, and strengthen our core - our insides- then we naturally attract men from everywhere.
As Rori says - you will have all sorts of men falling "in love" with you This doesn't mean that the man will do exactly what we want, right when we want.
In fact, we must stop that type of thinking and actually 'BE SURPRISED'.
See, when we're expecting him to either "say yes" or do something in particular - it's hard to be surprised at what he does say or do.
If he doesn't call or text when he said he would - then we can 'wonder what happened'- however, getting all wrapped into 'thinking and analyzing' what we believe did happen or he 'might be' doing instead - never helps us! In fact, it is also 'masculine' in nature.
When we respond by 'feeling' the sea of emotions and tending to ourselves - getting to where we can actually enjoy and play in our feminine regardless of what he says or does- where we get strong enough inside that we don't 'react' or 'act' on any of the nasty voices in ways we later 'regret' - everything changes.
Then, we are able to say what 'needs' to be said with softness, warmth and genuine feeling.
The Tools can and should be used with everyone in our life.
Then, they become a way of habit and it is not so 'difficult' to 'stop DOING' stuff and we begin to simply BE.
One of the things that Rori says that I love goes something like this: We are the BEING to his DOING.
You are doing wonderfully and really becoming aware...of your inner world...your feelings and when we begin this - it can feel awkward and uncomfortable- cause we simply have been ignoring who we are inside.
Most of us have been taught to hide our emotions (good and bad) so many of us try too hard to 'get rid of' emotions - especially those we don't like.
What we want to do is to LOVE all of those emotions and learn to BE with them and BE ok.
Then, we soon realize - "Oh- I am ok and I do love all of myself and all of my emotions."
Then, we really see the shift in vibe and we see it - in the way others respond to us.
It is a beautiful thing to experience.
From Rori: This is just one of the many kinds of long, thought-out, helpful interactions and clarifications and instructions (and many are in video!) you can expect on Siren Island. Debra will be there for you...