It’s 20 degrees now.
That’s freezing, and it’s got me thinking about the difference between what’s going on inside you that translates to the outside – and what’s going on outside that you pull into your insides.
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This is Rori, and I’m here in my St Louis backyard.
There’s my dog, Zeke. You can see him running around…
It’s freezing outside, but I love it.
I love the cold
I feel comfy in the cold when I’m moving and walking.
I have warmth generating inside me, and then I feel really comfortable in the cold.
It’s a very different feeling.
I can feel my muscles working; I can feel the warmth going through my bones and my muscles, and it sort of warms the air around me and warms my whole environment.
Can you imagine doing this with a man?
If he’s a rubber band kind of a guy and he gets all cold and ignores you, you look around you, and all you feel is cold.
Instead of taking that in, reacting to his coldness and making that your coldness, how about you reignite your own flame, your own warmth, your own hearth, your own comfort inside the warmth of your heart, your muscles, your body.
You can move a little so that you start to feel your warmth.
And think about love.
I love him. I love him. I love this life. I love this. I love this about myself. I love my dog. I love this painting. I love this, that…
Then, let that warmth in your heart come out.
Now, see if you can imagine that radiating out and warming up the space around you so that you don’t need his warmth.
That is the trick: to not need his warmth because you have your own.
Now that you’ve established this warm space around you, he may shift.
He may shift completely.
He will feel your warmth rather than your anger and coldness, which is what he is reacting to so much of the time.
He’s always reacting to how we are feeling and what we are projecting through our feelings.
So, if you can generate warmth and he feels that warmth, he may shift; he may completely change, or he may not.
Whatever happens, now you’ll know.
Now, you know whether he’s reacting to you or if he himself is a cold fish.
He may not be a person who can open up his own stores of warmth and love, but, at least you’re giving the relationship a really, really good opportunity to come out the way you want.
Your warmth makes him feel good.
Pretty soon, he becomes warmer.
He’s sharing warmth with you.
You get to be warmed back by him, and then it all works.
Try it this way!
Stoke your own fires. Be warm. See what happens.
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