If You’re Going To Play Big – You’re Going To Meet “Haters” – What To Do…

You Can Have ItAllHi, This is Rori – and today’s Tool is in answer to a letter I just received from a relationship coach friend who got her first “hate comment” on her website!

Besides wanting to talk about how awful it felt – and get my “take” on what to do about it – she said she assumed I never had to deal with any of that.

Here’s the truth:
…I get about three “hate mails” a day – have since the beginning.

And I wear them as a “badge of honor.”

This newsletter is about how to not have to READ it, not have to deal with it, how to embrace it instead of fight it, and how to lessen the stress and impact of it on your life – WITHOUT turning down your wattage, dialing down your power and boldness, or silencing your strong voice for yourself and other women.

It’s about how to go fearlessly into “Going BIG!”

First – I’ve been there, I’m there now, I’ll always be there.

It’s part of the deal I accept as a public person, and part of my personal self-development in becoming an increasingly bold, plain-speaking, straight-shooting, creative, powerful and HAPPY woman.

These are just some of my experiences:

I once had a video up on youtube that got SO MANY slimy awful comments, I took it down.

I get blasted regularly on other relationship blogs (even those of well-known “gurus” who are my friends!).

I get “disliked” and dissed on Facebook.

I get “hate” comments on my blog.

I’ve been approached for “friendship” when it’s obvious it only has to do with “business” and my status as a well-known brand.

…Ever read the comments on HuffPo?

…And there was a very clever segment on Jimmy Kimmel about “haters” – where celebrities went on camera reading tweets about themselves (and just a FEW of the thousands that must be out there).

These celebrities “should,” you’d think, be used to it, have “thick skins…” – AND, they were nothing like that. You could see some of them actually tear up reading these horrible things people said, out loud and live.

This is inescapable when you go big.

How you DEAL with it is the important piece.  

It’s said this is the “price of celebrity.”

And – what if it’s really NOT so “awful?

What if the service we women “Going BIG!” provide as lightening rods for other people is doing “good” for the world?

What if the “conversation” – even if begun by a “hate” message – turns into something valuable for other women who want to Go BIG but feel held back in so many ways?

I’m very , very, very sensitive. I react intensely when a Business Siren student has even a minor glitch or concern. I handle it immediately, unless I give myself time to breathe and percolate – and then I still handle it ASAP for my own peace of mind.

You’d think a sensitive person like me, who broods for days upon reading a “hateful” comment on my blog or youtube video, or a hateful message that appears in my email box, would make me want to “dial myself back” or simply stop my functioning.

And yet, I make peace, and I continue on.

There Are Solutions:

1. Fall in love with the comment, the letter, the email, and with the hater.

It’s what you do.

This is what makes you a spiritual, effective woman, professional power wielder and thought leader.

2. Get a fake assistant to answer anything you don’t want to answer.

3. Get someone else to handle your email and comments, and delete the icky ones, respond to what needs responding to in an official way, and forward to you the good stuff. This is what my publishing company does for me. It relieved me so much I cannot adequately describe.

4. Control the comments on your blog.

You can set your comments to block certain names, certain email addresses, certain words.

It’s been awhile since I had to block anyone – but I never hesitate to notify and then block anyone I feel isn’t following the guidelines to speak only in Feeling Messages.

I don’t allow anything unkind or highly opinionated, or about religion or politics 0r anything off-topic.

Some might say this is “overkill” – and yet, over the years, it’s become highly important for me to create a “safe” environment around everything I do – around my “Community” of Sirens.

If you’d like to get more Tips like this – for ALL Business Siren and Modern Siren experiences – and, most important, to work with me PERSONALLY about your questions your concerns, your fears and exhilarating visions of “going BIG!” – join me in my Have It All! live Teleclass on April 15th, 11am PDT, 2pm EDT…Go here to find out how the Have It All Membership works:

How we react to “hateful” words thrown at us is part of what separates those of us who want to play “small” from those of us who want to play BIG.

It “comes with the territory.”

Instead of trying to “block” all of this from your experience – learn to not only “roll with it” – but to EMBRACE it!

Instead of calling it “negative” – call it FUEL!

You CAN learn to USE the energy of fear and rage (yours AND others’) to go even BIGGER!!!

You CAN “ride” the torpedoes to your OWN success in everything you want in life – instead of trying to fight them off with your own artillery guns and shields.

It’s not that these kind of “hateful” experiences are a “challenge.”

What’s important is that the more hate and fear we see out there – the more CRUCIAL it is for EACH of us to play BIG, be heard, and change the world.

Wear each hate message like a BADGE of HONOR!!!

Love, Rori

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Rori Raye