New Ways To Use The Tools No Matter How You’re Feeling…

The Letter:

Dear Rori, I just wanted to tell you that as a french woman, I found your programs (all of them) fantastic and applicable to… French men!;-) It has been a month today that I started my personal love coaching with you and it’s a real pleasure for me to have a appointment with you every evening, in… my bed!

Don’t take it wrong, i love to listen and watch you on my computer, from my bed, surrounded by my pillows and covers: I live in the French Alps and it’s a very cold winter here, I am surrounded by snow in my garden.

After 20 years marriage, and a divorce (I have two kids), I have a wonderful but difficult relationship with a man that is not “rowing the boat” of the relationship, but just floating on thelake with me, leaving me with the choice of rowing or letting it go.

Until now I kept rowing courageously and full of hope. We spend wonderful moment together in Corsica at the beach, or in Rome.

BUT I KNOW IT IS A MISTAKE NOW TO DO THE ROWING Is it because he is still in love with his ex-wife I feel very present in his life (they have 2 small kids and divorce 3 years ago)?

Is he emotionally immature? Is he still reconstructing his balance, after the wreckage of the family life he had and adored? Is it because I didn’t give us the SPACE he needed to react before I was? I think I had been to fast and pushy… I don’t know.

I just know that he told me last Saturday that “he loved me, but not ENOUGH to stop living by himself” (vs. not enough to consider a life living together, i guess?)

What do you do, if you’re a girl, and you hear that? You cry and get desperate, and ask why, how, when, how to, scream, beg,… and so on. BUT what do you do when you are a Rori girl, when you hear that? YOU LET THE BALL FALL ON THE FLOOR and start being a Siren I hope I’m right, Rori.

That’s what I did. Just let it go, don’t give news, don’t call, listen to my heart, my pain, acknowledge it, and see what happens. I started circular dating last Thursday. Had My first conversation yesterday nigh of one hour on the phone with a great guy I met. We will see each other in one week.

BUT… I still fell I’m desperately in love with my complicated non-rowing man. Rori, tell me that this will pass… Tell me that’s the only way to get a chance to see him handling the ROWING gears and start rowing one day, realizing he wants me in his life. How can you bear the “I love you but… NOT ENOUGH” thing? This is so cruel.

I thank you with all my heart for being there when i need you. Have fun and Love, Rori! and come and visit me with your husband in the Alps, We’ll slide together on the slopes (better than rowing 😉

But let me tell you one more thing: as I bought all your programs, I’m doing something I call “Circular Rori-ing”!!! When I feel sad and exhausted, I watch a bit of your “Modern Siren” program. When I find a new man to date, i never go to the appointment without listening a little bit of “Scripts for dating.”

When I have hope and feel that my relationship will reconnect with my coward (or slow) man , if he realizes one day he can row the boat ;-), then i listen to “reconnect your relationship” or “commitment blue print”.

Maybe I should start with “Toxic men” as well 😉 Thank you for giving all of us back our hopes… and our dignity, as a matter of fact. Love, “French Girl”

My Answer

Once you stop rowing, what happens is the magic of more time and energy.

All of a sudden you’re freed up to do more things for yourself.

Now you have some choices.

Now this is where Circular Dating becomes really important.

We can see this freeing up of energy as a bad thing, and go into feeling sad – or we can begin to add more thrilling things into our lives.

I know nobody wants to get out and go places… But this is where you become creative and begin to build more of a life… And this is where you meet more men!

…This is where you learn to use the Modern Siren tools in a way that will draw all men closer to you – including this man you have now…

Love, Rori

 

 

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