And this is what I wrote to her:
Susan – what makes you think any time has been wasted?
For me, everything is in divine order, yes, and practically, we have to literally go through all our “stuff” as part of our journey.
Part of your brilliance as a human being is predicated on all that you suffer, endure, go through.
It’s the AWARENESS of all this that sets you apart from everyone else – and that’s not to say you won’t get stuck in the mud every once in a while – we ALL do!
Please simply become aware of how you beat yourself up when you get stuck somewhere, and pour love on it!
Celebrate that you CAUGHT this moment!!! That you HAD this awareness.
It’s this humbleness that makes you a bright light, and draws men to you (in fact, ALL people who need the healing you naturally and already are).
I have never met a talented healer, coach, happily married woman, soft and fun mother, brilliant artist who did not have this process you describe of self-negating.
It’s part of the badge!
And – here’s a simple pothole I don’t want you to fall in: Everyone thinks they need the “vision” of the big picture. You don’t.
All you need is a bunch of things written down that are steps to something you vaguely want (and this is why Circular Dating works).
Then, you keep writing down the smallest of the small steps that come to you, then do the small tiny steps that most appeal to you at any moment.
Once you catch yourself working too hard and unpleasantly at any “task” – step back and choose another small task.
Choose what your innate, organic, even chaotic feminine energy veers toward.
Then, you step back and look at it all, look at your dream, talk to someone with fresh eyes, and get inspiration for a new step! Perhaps even a step in a new, unfamiliar, scary direction. Maybe even one that seems way too “simple.”
This is why private coaching works so well: fresh eyes.
The path is already written in your heart. Trust that you can’t go wrong. If you FORCE yourself into somewhere, some task – you can feel it. So when you feel that force, stop! Ask me, ask your coach!
It doesn’t matter how many curlicues you take.
It just matters that you keep going.