When You Start To Question Yourself…Do This…

When you feel yourself putting yourself down, questioning if there’s something “wrong” with you (perhaps you’re feeling extra “needy,” have extra expectations of a man that throw you off balance…) – you’re not alone.

Confidence is something we’re born with, and it’s usually quickly demolished.

The voices in our heads that tell us how wonderful we are (if we had people around us while we were growing up who said that often  to us) are constantly in conflict with the voices in our heads that say we’re worthless.

I know very few people, even of very few people, who actually have a “majority” of “wonderful” voices singing to them all the time.

Instead, most of us find it very easy to inspire swarms of “nasty” comments about ourselves from inside our own heads.

And – here’s the cure: Once you can “hear” the voice loudly screaming at you that you did something “wrong” (or that there’s something “wrong” with you) – and, instead of quickly trying to push it away or shut it down, you actually allow it to speak to you and be heard – you’ve begun your healing.

Your next step is to actually FEEL everything the voice is feeling, and then feel everything the voice makes you feel.

This is an armful and a mouthful, and a very good way to spend your time.

Self-love is the short version of undoing a lifetime of self-disregard. That’s the disregard taught to us by so many people who might have even “meant well,” over so much of our lives.

The self-disregard is really just a habit, a kind of inner mantra no one wants – yet we (like everyone else) experience it as so powerful we need to run from it.

The new Self-Love In 12 Steps Masterclass I’ll be teaching and coaching, along with my superb guest Mariah Grey, next Sunday, October 6th – at 9am PDT, 11am CDT, 12noon EDT, afternoon Europe, and middle of the night Australia! – will quickly up-end your thinking about how to “love yourself” ->

Everyone out there makes it seem so natural, so easy, to just “love yourself.”

Well, it’s not.

It’s not easy.

In fact, its the piece that’s keeping us from everything else we want!

It’s even keeping us from acknowledging and feeling our WANTS in the first place!

It’s easy to do the opposite: to grow old still harboring anger at others that really is just anger and disappointment aimed at ourself. To believe we don’t deserve what we want, and so make it “okay” that we don’t have it.

I’ve always thought the idea of “learning to like being single” is completely based on not feeling like you deserve what you want.

If you like being single, great (I know many, many women who are excited and thrilled to be single and unencumbered. MANY! They date, they have lovers, they travel, they pursue their passions – it’s light and fun and exactly what they want. And it took them a long time to realize it was what they wanted, after feeling pushed toward “relationship” non-stop.

And if it’s NOT what you want – if you WANT to be commingled with another human for better or for worse – then “learning to like being single” is NOT what you want!

*Notice I said “like” and not “love” – because your next step is to pour LOVE on EVERYTHING!

In Sunday’s Self-Love In 12 Steps Masterclass, you’ll get TWO workbooks – one from me, and one from Mariah, that will change your ideas about everything related to Self-Love.  All of a sudden things will get clear.

You’ll learn new Tools (and get personally coached around them if you want!), get your personal questions answered by writing them to me in the Zoom call “chat box” – and walk out feeling like “you can do this!”

Self-Love isn’t a mystery – and, amazingly, it has absolutely nothing to do with ANY of your “qualities.” It doesn’t matter how many “mistakes” you think you’ve made, or where you are in your life.

It doesn’t matter how successful or good you’ve been at anything, or how frustrated and stuck you’ve been feeling.

And – here’s the teaser I’ll leave you with before the Self-Love In 12 Steps Masterclass on Sunday: It doesn’t even matter if you “like” anything about yourself!

It doesn’t involve “changing yourself,” or “affirmations” or anything you can think of. It doesn’t involve “forgiveness” in the way you’ve heard about it.

Hope to see you Sunday – and I’ll explain. (you’ll get the video replay if you can’t come live – and if you DO come live, you’ll get personal attention all through the event). Just go here to enroll-> https://coachrori.com/self-love-in-12-steps-masterclass/

Love, Rori

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Rori Raye