From Naomie Thompson - "Lead Coach" on Siren Island:
Once upon a time there's a little girl who just wants her daddy to love her; and he does.
But not in the way she understands love.
She needs him to take an interest in her, spend time with her, compliment her, hear her, remember to pick her up and be there fully on her birthday.
At the same time in another place there's a little boy, who wants to be a good boy for mummy, he wants her appreciation, her respect and trust but try as he might to win her approval, he feels criticized.
And somewhere deep down he's decided that when she's not happy it must be his fault.
It must be something he's done wrong.
This little boy and girl grow up and each go out looking for the one who'll give them what they feel they missed out on.
Both with the deeply held belief that they're somehow lacking, somehow bad inside, not quite good enough and all they need to do is to meet someone who will make them feel good and whole.
And at the same time both believing that if anyone comes too close they will see that they are indeed unlovable or not good enough,
Then comes the strange dynamic, despite the greatest efforts they both attract the type of person who's a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
They attract someone who ultimately treats them the way they treat themselves.
Someone who is unable to meet their true needs.No one is going to treat you any better than you treat yourself.
But by changing your beliefs about yourself on the inside you'll totally change the vibe you put out on the outside.
These negative beliefs we have are like a nasty voice shouting, "You're not good enough! You're not lovable! etc."
We believe it, and we're afraid that if anyone gets too close they'll realise that we're exactly that, not good enough, unlovable etc.
This voice comes from a belief we formed when we were little and we can turn it around.
This nasty voice wants us to stay small and safe and not reveal who we really are, but this is the opposite of safe. Keeping hidden is not safe. It becomes a habit and a habit can be changed.
How this can show up in our relationships:
- You may stay with a person who repeatedly cheats on you even when they've shown themselves to be un trustworthy.
- The relationship keeps you both small and your partner doesn't support you to be the best person you can be, to learn and grow, or they don't want to learn and grow with you. He or she may be very critical and put you down.
- You're in an abusive relationship, this could be physical or emotional abuse. You may be keeping details of your relationship secret from family and friends out of shame.
- You may feel that you can't be yourself in the relationship. That you're constantly changing who you are to fit what you think your partner wants you to be to gain their approval and acceptance.
- As a woman you may find yourself being overly critical and resentful of your partner..As a man you may find that you withdraw, this may be physically, emotionally, sexually, or that you zone out when she talks to you as you get the nagging feeling that whatever you do you can't make her happy.
A person who feels great about who they are is magnetic. Putting yourself first, making yourself and your well-being a high priority raises your value enormously, you're setting the example for how others need to treat you if they want to be around you and in your life.
When you build yourself up and treat yourself with the utmost care and respect you'll get that you're worthy, special, deserving of great things.
Then you'll automatically attract a mate who'll be able to treat you this way, and you'll naturally filter out those who are unable to treat you in the way you now feel you deserve.
The question for me is how can we be whole and complete for ourselves? How can we end this relentless search for someone to complete us? Like we are somehow broken or incomplete.
In these modern times of marrying for love we choose a partner for our emotional security.
We give our partners the job description of being our greatest lover, our best friend, our trusted confidant, our intellectual equal, our emotional support.
There's an endless list of needs that we're expecting someone to fulfill.
So when they choose us we believe that we are all this to them.
We are everything! We are the chosen one! We are indispensable.
Our focus goes to our partner to meet our emotional needs and we assume that we must be the one to meet theirs.
When you meet your own needs, when you really look hard at what you're willing to tolerate in a relationship and what is no longer tolerable; a shift starts to happen in what you accept and what you believe you deserve.
When you start to ask yourself what you are dissatisfied with in your partner and how can you meet that need in yourself you gradually become empowered to change your experience of the relationship.
For example are you feeling neglected?
I would ask you, where are you neglecting yourself?
What can you do to treat yourself with the utmost care - Instead of waiting for your partner to do it?
If your complaint is "he never listens to me", then I ask you, where in your life are you not listening to yourself and your deep needs?
This is about assuming full responsibility for your emotional well-being. This is you taking care of and accepting yourself. This is self love.
This kind of self love and self acceptance and taking full responsibility for ones emotional needs clears the way for the intimacy and connection that we all deeply desire.
With Love, Naomie
And if Naomie's success, impact, and her great life as a coach inspires you to become a professional coach under Rori Raye's "wing" - find out more about Rori Raye Relationship Coach Training (RRRCT), and schedule a private "interview" with Rori herself!
Write here to have a private meeting with Rori over video Zoom to see if RRRCT and The Rori Raye Method™ of coaching are a good match to make your dream of being a successful professional coach real:
IT'S NOT ENOUGH ANYMORE TO WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S DREAMS.
It's time to make your own dream real...
YOU'RE ALREADY A NATURAL COACH.
YOU KNOW IT. YOUR FRIENDS KNOW IT.
NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE WORLD TO KNOW IT.
DON'T LET THE DREAM OF BEING A PROFESSIONAL COACH FADE BEFORE YOU DISCOVER WHAT YOU'RE "MADE OF."
Don't assume it's too "hard."
YOU'RE MUCH SMARTER, tougher, creative, ambitious, and worthy of success doing something you love than you think.
...you already work in the corporate world - and it makes you great money, but keeps you yearning for something more personal and fulfilling...
...you're already a healer, a therapist, a counselor, a coach - and find yourself wanting a "technique" or "method" that can get quick results for the one thing every woman you work with asks you for: help with romantic relationships...or,
...perhaps you're not completely happy with your own romantic life right now, and so you're waiting until that changes to truly believe you can help another woman with hers (you're actually in the perfect place to help other women - and your own love life, too. RRRCT is filled with stories of relationships and marriages happening during Training)...
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE, NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON FOR YOU - YOU'VE ALREADY HAD SO MANY "WINS" YOU MAY NOT EVEN BE AWARE OF!
All the moments in your life where you "rose above" something painful and frustrating are what made you deep.
They made you profound.
These moments - your history - will enable you to help other women in SO many ways...
It's time for you to realize your gifts, to stop seeing anyone else as "above" you - and to step out as the one your clients call "The Coach."
Here's a video Naomie Thompson made for RRRCT before she even graduated in 2017:
When you learn "The Rori Raye Method of Coaching," you'll find yourself deep in a complex, fascinating, dramatic, theatrical, highly artistic and intuitive "style" of coaching that brings out your gifts and uses every one of them.
Though The Rori Raye Method should be impossible to teach, because it's so improvisational and creative...RRRCT has proved, over 7 years, that you can learn The Rori Raye Method, build a complete website and business plan -
- AND become a hugely successful coach in a way that brings out your unique brilliance.
Yes, you have brilliance in you. You do!
I know, because I've seen it happen over and over.
YOU COME INTO RRRCT EXPECTING TO "DO SCHOOL" - AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, YOU'RE CAUGHT UP IN YOUR OWN CREATIVITY: FLYING BY THE SEAT OF YOUR PANTS AND SOARING!
RRRCT 2020 Spring Session Is NOW Enrolling!
If you have questions, and would like to meet with Rori or an RRRCT Master Coach Teacher - Just contact Melanie, the RRRCT Administrator:
OUT OF THE 95 WOMEN WHO'VE EVER BEEN ACCEPTED INTO RRRCT - HERE ARE JUST SOME OF THE SUCCESSFUL RRRCT GRADUATES YOU LIKELY ALREADY KNOW:
Helena Hart, Sami Wunder, Adrienne Everheart, Amanda Neill, Megan Weks, Gabrielle Grae, Viona Haven, Andrada Dan, Teal Elisabeth, Leigha Lake, Jeanine Staples, Tatia Dee, Carrie Stanford, Dominique, Valarie O'Ryan, Michelle Manley, Naomie Thompson, Natalina Love, Teresa Clement, Debra Darlen, Dominique Mellinger, Beth Ellen, Christine Rich Hanson, Vero Vidal, Heather Allison, Jane Mary, Shahrzad, Mariah Gray, Jenn Jolie, Leah Leaves, Silk Celia, Dr. Jeanie Short, Korina Felkers, Rogue, Anna Eden, Morellis Chuecos, Marguerite Elise...and many, many more, including new coaches from RRRCT Winter 2019/2020 who're just now making names for themselves....
All of these star RRRCTers are working coaches, offering programs, speaking and coaching on world stages in 5 different languages, and coaching on Siren School Live programs and classes.
RRRCT HAS AN UNMATCHED TRACK RECORD OF TRAINING AND MENTORING COACHES TO BE SUPERSTAR COACH "GURUS" -
And you can be one of them...